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Chuck Versus the First Date
September 29.
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Chuck: Put Sarah on the phone!
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HOME > COUPLE > QUOTES
Season One;

1x01 Pilot
1x02 Chuck vs The Helicopter
1x03 Chuck vs The Tango
1x04 Chuck vs The Wookie
1x05 Chuck vs The Sizzling Srhimp
1x06 Chuck vs The Sandworm
1x07 Chuck vs The Alma Mater
1x08 Chuck vs The Truth
1x09 Chuck vs The Imported Hard Salami
1x10 Chuck vs the Nemesis


1.01 - Pilot

Morgan: Stop the presses. Is THAT Vikki Vale?
Chuck: *sings* Vikki Vale, Vik-Vi-Vikki Vale, Vikki-Vikki-Vikki Vale, Vi-Vi-Vikki Vale.
Sarah: I hope i'm not interrupting.

Chuck: Hi. Uhh, phone trouble again?
Sarah: Yeah, I’m not sure I’m able to receive calls… because I never got one from you.

Sarah: I was wondering if you’d show me around… that is, if you’re free?
Morgan: He’s free. He’s got nothing but time on his hands. He’s very available.
Chuck: Apparently, my schedule’s wide open.

Chuck: So yeah, I live with my sister and her boyfriend, Captain Awesome.
Sarah: No!
Chuck: It’s true though!
Sarah: So wait, you call him Captain Awesome?
Chuck: Yeah, wait till you meet him. Everything he does is awesome. Climbing mountains, jumping out of planes, flossing…
Sarah: That’s funny.
Chuck: I’m a funny guy!
Sarah: Clearly. Which is good, ‘cause I’m not funny.
Chuck: Is that your big secret, by the way? Cause I’ve been sitting here trying to figure out what’s wrong with you…
Sarah: Oh plenty, believe me.
Chuck: And I was thinking either she’s either a cannibal or she’s really not that funny.. and I was pulling for cannibal because I’ve never met one before.
Sarah: uhh… not a cannibal.

Sarah: I did just come out of a long relationship so I may come with baggage.
Chuck: Well I can be your very own baggage handler.

Sarah: I like you Chuck.

Chuck: Do you like music?
Sarah: I guess.
Chuck:You guess? What’s your favourite band?
Sarah: Uhh…
Chuck: Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh.
Sarah: God, I’m not funny, I don’t listen to music… this must be your worst date ever, right? *pause* I was waiting for you to say no.
Chuck: Sorry, I kinda zoned out there for a second. No, no no no! God no. I’ve had much worse dates… experiences overall, with women. In eleventh grade…
Sarah: Eleventh grade? Oh. You have to go back that far? Come on!
Chuck: I don’t date that much.

Sarah: Let’s dance.
Chuck: I’m not really a dancer.

(while Sarah’s driving)
Chuck: Oh my God, I’m gonna die.

Sarah: Tell me when to turn.
Chuck: Left in 5 seconds.
Sarah: Your left or my left?
Chuck: What?
Sarah: Too late!

Sarah: Listen to me Chuck, those men will hurt you. They’re from the NSA and they’re after you.
Chuck: Why me? I’m nobody! I’m the supervisor of a Nerd Herd at a Buy-More. Maybe one day I’ll be assistant store manager and I don’t even know if I want that job. But you know what? That’s not your problem.

Sarah: I may have to aim my gun at you so don’t freak out.
Chuck: Why?
*later*
Chuck: Sarah, I’m freaking out!

*answering his phone*
Chuck: Hi Morgan.
Morgan: Hey, how’s it going?
Chuck: A little busy right now, buddy.
Morgan: In a good way? Details!
Chuck: Why are you calling?
Morgan: I dunno. Just lying on your bed… Ellie’s with the Captain, my computer’s got a case of the Demova’s…

*Sarah comes up to Chuck while he’s sitting on the beach*
Chuck: How long have you been here?
Sarah: All night.

Chuck: There’s nowhere I can run, is there?
Sarah: Not from us.

Sarah: Talk to me, Chuck.
Chuck: Yesterday I was making $11 an hour fixing computers. Now I have one in my brain and I can’t figure out why Bryce did this, why he chose me. What are you going to do with me? What happens now?

Sarah: For now, you go back to your own life. We’ll protect you and you’ll work with us.
Chuck: And my sister, my friends… are they in danger?
Sarah: Tell them nothing to keep them safe.

Sarah: I need you to do one more thing for me.
Chuck: Yeah?
Sarah: Trust me Chuck.

1.02 - Chuck vs The Helicopter

Chuck: Hi, my name is Charles Bartowski, but you can call me Chuck. Those are my shoes, this is my life. Its filled with spies, car chases, computer-stealing ninjas and me saving the day.

Chuck: No Casey! No no no! That’s just a video game! Lives are not in danger and the country’s still safe!

Chuck: The CIA sent their top agent too. *pause* Oh yeah, I know. Believe me. She told me to trust her, but just like any woman she’s got a past. And… she’s posing as my girlfriend.

Sarah: How about another date? I can pick you up at 8.
Chuck: Yeah. Yeah, that umm... I’d like that. Sounds great. I’ll… uh... *walks away*

Chuck: Hey sis, what do you think of this shirt?
Ellie: Another date with Sarah? This is very exciting.
Chuck: It’s not that big a deal.
Morgan: Yes it is. She’s hot.

Ellie: I need to meet this girl. Tomorrow night, dinner, here.
Morgan: Whoa, little too early to see the TRON poster don’t you think? Not exactly an aphrodisiac.

*Sarah pulls up in her car*
Sarah: Get in.
Chuck: Wow, Weinerlicious really pays well, huh? What are we doing? Going to a movie or some dinner?
Sarah: Not exactly.
Chuck: What does not exactly mean exactly?

Chuck: So here we are on our date at the Buy-More. Is this all part of the plan or a chance for me to clock in some over-time?

Chuck: Oh, I almost forgot, dinner tomorrow night with my sister and her boyfriend Captain Awesome. She really wanted to meet you so…
Sarah: Okay, well that’s a good idea.
Chuck: Meeting the family is kind of a big step if our relationship were remotely real.

Chuck: So, if this whole examination thing works out… then I guess we’re through, huh?
Sarah: Uhh yeah, mhmm.
*long pause*
Chuck: Okay. Goodnight
Sarah: Goodnight.
Chuck: Oh and just so you know, tonight was probably the best only second date I’ve been on in years. *Sarah smiles at him* Drive safe.

*Chuck arrives late for dinner with his sister, Captain Awesome, Morgan, and Sarah*
Sarah: Chuck! Where have you been?
Chuck: Why? Are you surprised to see me?
Sarah: What? Where’s Casey?
Chuck: I dunno. Maybe he’s had some car trouble.

Ellie: I don’t know how anyone could choose Bryce over Chuck.

Ellie: Wow, Chuck, wow! I mean, I knew you had it in you... but wow, she’s really great.
Chuck: She’s… yeah, she’s unpredictable.

Ellie: Chuck! No matter how stressed out you are it is never okay to murder a woman’s soufflé!

*after Sarah goes to talk to Chuck in the bathroom*
Captain Awesome: Make up sex… nice.

(to Sarah)
Chuck: If you’re planning me even just to prove a point, you should know I have a very low threshold for pain.

(to Chuck)
Sarah: I never asked you to believe me, I asked you to trust me.

Chuck: Casey he’s got Sarah, we’ve gotta save her!
Casey: Brilliant deduction.

Chuck: Sarah! Are you okay?
*Sarah’s mouth is covered with duct tape*
Chuck: Stupid question.
*rips duct tape off*
Sarah: Chuck you have to get out of here.
Chuck: No, I’m here to save you!

*Doctor shoots Chuck with the tranquilizer gun*
Chuck: Sarah…
*falls over*
Doctor: Don’t worry Agent Walker, I’ll take good care of him.

(to Casey)
Sarah: Don’t shoot! Chuck’s in there.

*while talking to Casey on the phone trying to learn to land the helicopter*
Chuck: Casey, put Sarah on the phone.

*after he lands the helicopter*
(dancing badly)
Chuck: And that is how I do that!
*Sarah glares at him*
Chuck: Okay, okay, that’s how we do that! Go team Sarah, see Sarah, up top on that one! Palms are a little sweaty, but…
Sarah: What the hell were you thinking?
Chuck: Clammy hands, got it… no good.

Ellie: Well, you’ve moved onto bigger and better girls. I don’t really mean bigger like literally bigger... I just really like Sarah. And I hope you guys work things out before the next dinner party, of course.
Chuck: I dunno sis, I really think I blew it.
Ellie: Look Chuck, just try apologizing. It goes a long way.

Ellie: Sarah’s special. She’s different from your Stanford friends.
Chuck: Yeah… yeah.

Chuck: Knock knock.
Sarah: Hey Chuck.

Chuck: Look, I’m not accusing you of anything… today. Yesterday yes, I may have laid it on a little thick with the accusing. But I’m really sorry about that. Instead of not trusting you I should have been thanking you for saving my life and protecting the country and for making really tasty gourmet wieners.

Sarah: I’m sorry I yelled at you.
Chuck: It was our first fight. You know it’s a big step if our relationship were remotely real.

Sarah: Some people have to be heroes and others have to be asked. So Chuck, are you ready?
Chuck? Uhhh… yeah.
Sarah: Good.

*Ellie, Captain Awesome, and Morgan walk in*
Ellie: Hi! I hope we’re not interrupting anything.
Chuck: By the way, I thought we’d give that diner another shot maybe... here?
Morgan: We knew you’d forgive him.

1.03 - Chuck vs The Tango

Morgan: Your lady’s here, and if I’m not overstepping my bounds… looking good.

Sarah: Give me a kiss.
Chuck: I’m sorry, what?
Sarah: We’ve been on three dates. We have to sell it.
*Chuck hesitates and finally kisses her on the cheek quickly*
Sarah: That’s it?
Chuck: I’m not really good with PDA.
Sarah: Well let’s go somewhere more private, shall we?
Morgan: Okay, he is so in.

Morgan: Chuck, your girlfriend’s here!

Morgan: Career, girl… the guy’s got it all.

Chuck: My life took a little detour senior year when our old friend Bryce Larkin discovered stolen tests under my bed and was kind enough to alert administration.
Sarah: Did you steal the tests?
Chuck: I thought it was kind of implied that I’m a decent person.

Sarah: Don’t worry about tonight. No reason to be nervous. I’m not gonna leave your side.
*reaches out to hold his hand*
Chuck: Me? Nervous? Come on, never.
Sarah: Your hand is a little moist…
Chuck: It does that when I’m freaking out.

Chuck: Hey sis, do you know how to tango?
Ellie: No, why?
Chuck: Uh, no reason. I just have a date tonight.

Harry: Where’s Bartowski?
Morgan: On a date with a smokin’ hot wiener girl. No biggie.

Sarah: Why does he have to know how to tango? Is that code?
Chuck: No, he (Casey) told me that I needed to know how to tango.
*Sarah smiles*
Chuck: Spy humour… I like that.

Morgan: Tonight Chuck Bartowski is boldly going where none of us have ever gone before… to have intercourse with a beautiful woman.

Sarah: Oh, nice.
Chuck: I’ve been a spy all of five seconds and I already have soy sauce on my shirt.
Sarah: Go and wash it off. And Chuck, stop saying that you’re a spy.
Chuck: Right. Of course.

Chuck: I’ve already identified the perp, what are we still doing here? You know, mission accomplished, time to go.
Sarah: Chuck, go wait at the bar.
Chuck: Go wait at the bar? Okay, you go do what you do and I’m gonna be at the bar, waiting there… covering that whole area.

Guy at bar: Who are you here with?
Chuck: Oh my date, she’s right over there.
Guy at bar: Whoa. She’s with you?
Chuck: Mhmm.
*Sarah walks away with who is presumed to be La Ciudad*
Guy at bar: Ouch.
Chuck: We have a very open relationship.

Lester: I know you think Chuck’s a great guy and all that but that wiener girl is super hot. Even for me.
Jeff: It’s obvious, dude. She’s a pro.
Anna: Are you kidding? Do you think Chuck could afford her if she was a pro?
Morgan: Alright guys. Enough crapping about her.

(about Chuck)
Morgan: He’s good looking… he’s not classically handsome; I wouldn’t say he is but he makes up for it with charm. Lots of charm. He’s kind of a lost soul, he does this little thing when he’s nervous… he laughs like ‘Ahahaha’. Brown hair, 6’ 1”. Does that help at all?

Sarah: Chuck, are you okay?
Chuck: Okay?! Two more seconds and I would have been dead! They were gonna throw me off the balcony!

Ellie: Do you like this girl?
Chuck: It’s complicated.
Ellie: Well explain it to me slowly, I’ll catch up.
Chuck: She’s a very beautiful girl… and she’s very agile.
Ellie: I’m not sure how that applies, but continue.
Chuck: And I think she’s too exhausting for me.

Chuck: I just don’t wanna create a false sense of excitement for a relationship that seems doomed!
Ellie: Why is it doomed?
Chuck: Because she’s not into me.
Ellie: Trust me. I have seen the way that that girl looks at you and she is into you.
Chuck: *smirks* really?

Chuck: What do you wanna ask me about Sarah?
Ellie: Do you like her?
Chuck: *hesitates* Yeah.

Ellie: I just know what an incredible guy Charles Bartowski is and sometimes I’m not so sure that he knows it.

(Sarah shows up at Chuck’s house with a bottle of wine and a busted lip)
Chuck: Ouch, you okay?

Sarah: Occupational hazard. She got in a lucky kick.

Chuck: What’s the good of being a hero is nobody knows about it?
Sarah: You know. And so do I.
Chuck: You know, if we were really dating this would be the part where I’d be forced to kiss you goodnight.
Sarah: Forced? *smiles* Would it be so bad?
Chuck: I’m sure I could suffer through it. *smiles*
Sarah: Me too.
(awkward moment before Sarah finally walks away)

1.04 - Chuck vs The Wookie

Chuck: Easy, easy. My all time favourite pet?
Sarah: Umm… cocker spaniel?
Chuck: Ahhhh….
Sarah: Peaches!
Chuck: Yeah, who got Peaches?! (high fives Sarah)

Sarah: Most dangerous situation ever?
Chuck: Hmm… I dunno, fixing a flat tire on the side of the freeway?
Sarah: Ah, good guess.
(flips the paddle around to reveal the word ‘sunburn’
Chuck: Ouch!

Chuck: Okay. Most hated person ever?
Morgan: Ahh, this is so easy!
Sarah: …Harry Tang?
Captain Awesome: Harry Tang? Oh come on!
Sarah: I don’t know, I’m sorry…
Chuck: It’s okay; it’s just a stupid game.
Morgan: No, hold on a second. It’s Bryce Larkin! I mean, how could you not know Bryce Larkin? Dude pretended to be his buddy, sexed up his girl, and got him kicked outta Stanford. If Chuck is Solo, Larkin is his Fet! Understand what I’m saying?
Chuck: Okay, okay… no point.

Chuck: We did great tonight.
Sarah: Yeah well I like to win but Morgan clearly has an edge.
Chuck: Yeah, when he started to list off my favourite 30 flavours of ice cream in descending order that was a little much.
Sarah: Yeah, he’s like the intersect on you.

Chuck: I wish I could access your file and know everything there is to know about you but the stupid thing doesn’t really work like that.
Sarah: Well you could always just ask me.
Chuck: Wow, really? Umm... okay, yeah. Umm…Well I know that you and Bryce worked together but how close were the two of you exactly?
Sarah: Well, Bryce was my partner but we were never really friends if that’s what you’re asking.
Chuck: Right, right. So your relationship you’d say was more like ‘You, hey, get that bad guy!’ or ‘Nice judo chop!’ or ‘How about them Redskins?’ or something like that?
Sarah: Well you know, when you’re undercover you’re still you… but the details are different.

Chuck: Speaking of details, there were a couple of those questions we could have done better with.
Sarah: Which ones?
Chuck: You know... those questions… the questions…
Sarah: The sex questions?
Chuck: There you go.
Sarah: (laughs) Morgan did well with those, too.
Chuck: Well what exactly is our cover for that topic?
Sarah: Ahh… we’re taking it slow.
Chuck: Right, yeah. We’re being prudent, aren’t we?

Karina: What about this Chuck guy? What is he analyzing, you?
Sarah: …our cover is boyfriend/girlfriend.

Karina: What’s the assignment?
Sarah: It’s top secret.
Karina: Well I guess I’ll just talk to Chuck myself.
Sarah: Well that’s not happening either.

Karina: You guys are SO cute! Really, you’re like the cutest couple ever.
Chuck: Ahh… wow… thanks, yeah… we’re doing good.
Sarah: Good? I’d say we’re doing very good sweetie.
Chuck: Well I stand corrected.

Karina: How did you two meet?
Chuck: At work I guess, right?
Sarah: Yeah, work.
Karina: I guess you’re right… a lot of people who meet at work end up dating.

Sarah: So do you guys wanna watch a movie or something?
Chuck: Good idea…sweetie. I rented that penguin movie.

Morgan: So do you like to travel?
Karina: Yeah, with someone fun.
Sarah: SHHH!
Morgan: …sorry. Where were you last?
Chuck: Argentina okay? Now will you shut up? They’re almost to the Antarctic.

Karina: I hope you like what you see.
Chuck: (stuttering) I should probably call Sarah. Sarah should probably be here, I think that it would be important for her to know.
Karina: You’re not much of a spy, are you?

Karina: Are you sleeping with Sarah?
Chuck: You know that a gentleman never…
Karina: Well that makes sense, considering Bryce.
Chuck: Bryce? What are you talking about?
Karina: You don’t know about Bryce? Bryce Larkin? Sarah’s boyfriend?

Sarah: Are you okay?
Chuck: Yeah, fine. Why?
Sarah: I dunno, you just seem a little…something. Are you sick?
Chuck: Nope, fine.
Sarah: Oh, one last thing. At the mansion I need you to do me a favour and stick by my side.
Chuck: Why’s that?
Sarah: Well Karina likes to improvise and things can get sticky fast. She likes trouble and she looks for it… Karina is not to be trusted.
Chuck: (laughs) Sarah, you have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that.
Sarah: Why?
Chuck: Karina said something last night…
Sarah: Last night?
Chuck: Right, well… she put a call into the Nerd Herd after hours and I was the one who was on call…
Sarah: What did she tell you?
Chuck: Doesn’t matter if it’s not true…?
Sarah: Just tell me.
Chuck: Something about Bryce and you… you know, being together?
(Sarah looks away)
Chuck: It’s not true right? You and Bryce… that’s not true, right?
Sarah: It was complicated…
Chuck: I thought you were supposed to be good at lying.

Sarah: Trust me! Remember what I said?
Chuck: Oh yeah, what lie are you referring to? It’s so hard to keep track these days.

Sarah: I have to be able to trust you on a mission Chuck, no matter how you’re feeling about me personally!
Chuck: How am I supposed to know that Karina has a remote control jet-ski? It’s not usually an option in real life!

(Chuck’s watching Sarah get changed in the backseat in the mirror)
Casey: Eyes up front, soldier.
Chuck: What? I... uhh, I was looking.

Sarah: Chuck I haven’t heard from Casey in an hour so I’m going to Karina’s hotel. And I need you to stay home tonight, got it?
Chuck: You don’t want my help?
Sarah: Not tonight.
Chuck: So I’m off the team?
Sarah: No, just benched. But we’re going to have to talk about what happened.

Morgan: Where’s Sarah?
Chuck: We had a fight. You don’t wanna hear about it.
Morgan: First fight? That’s kind of a big deal.
Chuck: I mean I know its stupid, but it’s Sarah’s fault I think… I never would have done it if she told me the truth in the first place.

(on the phone)
Chuck: Sarah! Hey. Thank God. Listen, I know you’re really mad at me right now… wait, you know this is Chuck, right?

Karina: I don’t get it Chuck. I thought you and Sarah were on the outs.
Chuck: I made a mistake. I’m still getting used to how you guys need to lie about who you are.
Karina: We shed identities like people shed clothes.

Karina: Trust me, a spy doesn’t want you to know anything about them… no matter who you are.

Sarah: Dinner tonight, so we can talk?
Chuck: Pizza?
Sarah: Sounds good.

Karina: I love taking what Sarah wants.
Chuck: Me? Sarah doesn’t want me.
Karina: She probably doesn’t know it herself yet… but I do.

(Chuck shows up at Sarah’s place with a pizza)
Chuck: Hey. Vegetarian, no olives… it’s the only thing I know about you that’s true: you don’t like olives.
Sarah: (smiles) Thank you.

Chuck: You’re right, I shouldn’t let my feelings affect the mission.

Chuck: If you and Bryce had a thing, that makes sense. He always got the real girls.

Chuck: I just wish I knew something real about you. Can’t you just tell me one true thing? Just one… like where’d you grow up? Or if that’s too much, I get it… what’s your name? Your real name? ….middle name? What’s your middle name? Can’t you just tell me you’re middle name?
(Sarah looks at him sadly, not saying anything. Chuck gives up sadly.)
Chuck: I’m… I’m going to go get the napkins.
Sarah: (whispers) it’s Lisa. My middle name is Lisa.

1.05 - Chuck vs The Sizzling Shrimp

Chuck: Chinese?
Morgan: Oh yeah man, it’s what an Evening with Morgan is all about!
(Sarah walks into the Buy-More)
Morgan: You didn’t forget to tell her, did you? About an Evening with Morgan?
Chuck: No, no no no no! Of course not! No, she’s been looking forward to it… a week. Like, ‘Ahh, when am I gonna hang out with your funny little friend?’
Morgan: Yeah, she says that?
Chuck: …yeah.
Morgan: Good. Make sure her head’s in the game, okay? This is kind of our big shot to prove to me that she has something to bring to this relationship. You feel me?
Chuck: Uhh… nothing but feelin’ ya.

(To Sarah)
Morgan: An Evening with Morgan will begin at 7 sharp. Bring you’re A-game. (to Chuck) Love ya, pal.

Sarah: An Evening of Morgan?
Chuck: Okay so here’s the thing… he’s my best friend and I haven’t really gotten to spend any time with him or Ellie this week and so he really wanted the whole bunch of us to hang out tonight.
Sarah: For an Evening of Morgan?
Casey: I thought being stationed in the Khyber Pass for six months was brutal.
Chuck: If you’re so sad about not being included Casey, you could just say so?
Casey: Dinner with you and Morgan? Hmm, I’d rather Afghani warlords bleed me from my liver.
Chuck: He’s a happy person.
Sarah: Mhmm.
Chuck: I appreciate that about him.

Morgan: An Evening of Morgan will consist of three acts. Act one: dinner.
Sarah: What are we having?
Morgan: A little delicacy known as sizzling shrimp. That’s right, we’re gonna pack our bellies so full of shrimp you’re gonna make a seal jealous.
Sarah: Wow, sounds like quite a night…
Morgan: Oh and that’s just the beginning. Dinner will be followed by a screening over at Chuck’s of the greatest kung-fu movie ever made:
Morgan and Chuck: Enter the Dragon!
Chuck: Prepare to die my little friend.
Morgan: Bring it, bring it on!
(Chuck and Morgan pretend to fight either… badly.)

Chuck: Sarah wasn’t feeling well…
Ellie: Well what was it? I’m a doctor.
Chuck: …I believe… she had a spastic colon.
Ellie: Yuck.
Chuck: I know, a girl that beautiful with a colon that spastic.

(While Casey, Sarah, and Chuck are on a stake-out)
Casey: Hey we’ve got a bogey at 6 o’clock here.
(Delivery man walks up to the truck)
Delivery man: Excuse me, did someone send in an order for sizzling shrimp? Mr. Carmichael?
Chuck: Yeah, that’s me. I’ll take that. Thank you very much, you go ahead and keep the change.
Delivery man: Thank you!
Chuck: Have a good night!
(Sarah and Casey glare at Chuck)
Chuck: It’s for Morgan, I called it in!
Casey: The idea behind a stake-out is to remain inconspicuous you moron.
Chuck: Ah, hello? That’s why I used an alias.

Sarah: Stay in the car.
Chuck: My four favourite words.

Chuck: Sarah I screwed up, okay? It’s my fault! Her brother’s gonna die and its all my fault.
Sarah: No, it's her fault. She went off the grid and she disobeyed orders.
Chuck: Yeah but her superiors didn’t even give her a choice! Come on Sarah! I’d have done the same thing! If it were Ellie I’d have done the same thing… minus the shooting apart the club part.
Sarah: I know how you feel. It was hard for me too when I first started but the truth is we can’t save everyone Chuck.

Sarah: You’re our eyes Chuck. If you see any trouble, let us know.
Chuck: Got it. Let’s just make this quick; 7:15 is my curfew.

(after the cameras go dead in the truck)
Chuck: SARAH? Oh no, oh no.

Sarah: Good work Chuck.
(Chuck smiles awkwardly)

Chuck: Where’s Awesome?
Ellie: He couldn’t get off work (there’s a knock at the door) but that must be Sarah.
Chuck: What? You invited Sarah too?
Ellie: Well, I think she’s your new best gal. How could I not?
Chuck: Ellie, you know you’ll always be my best gal.
Ellie: Don’t take this the wrong way Chuck, but I hope not.

Sarah: Ellie invited me. She uhh, insisted that I come. So Mother’s Day…?
Chuck: Yes, Mother’s Day… that’s right. (pauses) You don’t really know… Mother’s Day is the anniversary of the day our mom left us. Our dad was here, but he was never really… ‘here’. So now every year we celebrate the day we learned to take care of ourselves.
(Sarah gives him a big smile)

1.06 - Chuck vs The Sandworm

Chuck: Hey, umm, is Sarah here?
Devon: She’s waiting in your room.
Ellie: Everything okay?
Devon: She said she had a surprise for you… get in there, slugger.


Chuck: Wait, wait, hold on. Look... if it’s cool with you, could you... hang out for a little while? Awesome and Ellie think that I’m kind of... getting lucky in here and I wouldn’t wanna disappoint... them.
Sarah: Oh. Umm... uhh, how long do you want me to stay?
Chuck: 42 minutes and 15 seconds.
(Sarah raises an eyebrow)
Chuck: ...Arcade Fire’s first album. It’s like an auditory aphrodisiac. You’re not really ready for it yet.

Chuck: Why were you waiting for me in my room anyway?
Sarah: Well, I wanted to surprise you. (reaches over on the nightstand for a picture she brought with her) Look, it’s us at Comicon. What do you think?
Chuck: That’s great. But we’ve never actually been to Comicon, have we? Wow, we actually look like a real couple.
Sarah: Well we are a real couple... we’re just a different sort of a couple.
Chuck: That we are.

Casey: What do I have to get timely Intel out of you Bartowski?
Chuck: Look, I briefed Sarah last night, alright?
Casey: Oh I bet you did slugger.

Sarah: Chuck I want you to go to your car, lock the doors, and wait for me.

Sarah: Hey, you look nice.
Chuck: Thanks, I feel like crap.

Chuck: I screwed up. I severely pooched the Laslow situation last night.
Sarah: Yeah well, today you have a job interview.
Chuck: Do you think I care about making lower management at a Buy-More? Are you kidding me?

Chuck: No wonder you guys bugged my room, I’m an absolute idiot.
Sarah: You know, just because you trust people doesn’t make you an idiot.

Chuck: I didn’t get the job. I kinda skipped out on the interview.
Ellie: What, why?
Sarah: It was my fault. I had a personal emergency and Chuck really came through. He probably wouldn’t admit it but your brother is kind of a hero.

Chuck: Where’d you get the costume?
Sarah: The CIA can make anything.
(pulls a camera out of her purse)
Chuck: What are you doing?
Sarah: Uhh.. smile!
(takes a picture both of them)
Sarah: I wanted to give you a new photo of us and I figured that it should be something real.

1.07 - Chuck vs The Alma Mater

Chuck: I know, I know. Stay in the car.
Sarah: Okay, good.

Sarah: I’m sorry Chuck, but we have to talk.
Chuck: ...okay.

Chuck: I’m gonna take Sarah for the Chuck Bartowski Memorial Tour.

Sarah: What is it?
Chuck: I dunno, I mean... I figured this would be tough. This place is just a lot to take in, you know? I used to have so much fun here and then...
Sarah: ...and then?
Chuck: It was the worst day of my life, getting kicked outta here, having to hear Ellie’s voice when I told her I was coming home, packing up all my stuff and leaving as Bryce just stood there... he said I brought it on myself.
Sarah: Why do you think Bryce betrayed you?
Chuck: I dunno. He’s had four years to call and set the record straight. Now that he’s gone... you know what, forget it. Bryce has betrayed a lot of people hasn’t he?

Sarah: Maybe you should stay here.
Chuck: Yeah because that always works out well.

Chuck: I need to see what’s on this disk!
Sarah: Chuck that is top secret.
Chuck: Yeah well, so am I!

Chuck: Bryce framed me for cheating to save me. Why didn’t he just tell me that to begin with?
Sarah: He couldn’t. They had already recruited him.

Sarah: No one can know about this, okay? For your own safety.
Chuck: Sure. No one would believe me anyway.

1.08 - Chuck vs The Truth

Sarah: You ready?
Chuck: Maybe we’re in over our heads.
Sarah: It’s time.
Chuck: Are you sure it’s not too dangerous?
Sarah: I’ll be an inch away.
Chuck: I’m scared.
Sarah: Let’s go over it again and make sure we have our bases covered.
Chuck: God who would have thought that going out for sushi with my sister and her boyfriend would make me so freaked out?

Sarah: Okay, last night we saw a movie.
Chuck: What was my snack of choice?
Sarah: Sprinkled Milk Duds over your popcorn. What was I wearing?
Chuck: Blue top, little buttons?
Sarah: Oh, you like that one?
Chuck: I like all of them.

Weinerlicious Manager: Wow, girl on top. Ms. Walker when Mr. Weinerlicious signs your paycheque I doubt he’s factoring in make out breaks with your boy toy.

Morgan: Dude, I saw you! Mind cheating with the broken phone girl… and why wouldn’t you? Her hair looked so much like licorice. I wanna chew on it until I make myself sick. But you… gee whiz Chuck, you already have hair to chew on.
Chuck: What the hell are you talking about?
Morgan: Name ‘Sarah’ ring a bell? Hot blonde with two big bells?

Devon: I didn’t realize how old fashioned you were Chuck.
Chuck: Why, cause I was ordering food for my girl? Well I guess I just know what she likes.
Sarah: You sure do. Thanks… sweetie.
Chuck: You’re welcome… sweetie.

Devon: I mean, you guys are joined at the hip but that’s not where it’s supposed to be joined. It’s like the east wing of our apartment took a vow of celibacy.

Devon: Hey, you staying the night? That little pep talk must’ve inspired you guys!
Chuck: Actually Sarah’s just hanging out until Ellie gets home.

Sarah: I’m a little worried about our cover. I think its time for us to make love.
Chuck: (chokes on his coffee) Hot… coffee.

Chuck: Yes, I’d love to Lou; this is kind of the biggest honour… SARAH!
Sarah: Hi, I’m Sarah.
Chuck: Lou… Lou is her name. This is Lou. I was fixing Lou’s phone for her… Lou. Who is that? That’s Sarah…
Lou: Yeah, she said that! Who’s Sarah?
Chuck: Sarah is… my… uhh what’s the best way to describe… Sarah is my…
Sarah: Girlfriend.

Sarah: I just wanted to make sure we’re all set for tonight’s mission.
Chuck: Yeah, yeah. I mean, it’s been awhile since I’ve slept with someone. Not… slept with someone, but slept with someone... It’s actually been awhile since I’ve done either one so…
Sarah: Chuck listen, I know this is kind of uncomfortable…
Chuck: I’m fine. It’s fine.
Sarah: It’s just that we have to do it. I mean… not do it…
Chuck: I got it.

Lou: Well is she your girlfriend or not?

Sarah: Wow Chuck, what do you think is gonna happen here tonight?
Chuck: What do you think I think?
Sarah: Well I dunno, the candles, and the music… I mean, you do know we’re just spending the night together for a cover right?
Chuck: Yeah, yeah. Why would I think anything else? By now I’m pretty familiar with the concept of faking it.

Chuck: You can change in the bathroom.
Sarah: That’s okay.
Chuck: What? You give me crap about lighting some candles and you come in wearing that?
Sarah: What, this? This is part of my cover.
Chuck: Well it doesn’t cover a thing.

Sarah: What if Ellie or Awesome were to walk in? This is exactly what a girlfriend would wear to seduce her boyfriend. I’m just being professional.
Chuck: Yeah, the world’s oldest profession.

Chuck: We’re starting to sound like them, aren’t we?
Sarah: A little.

Chuck: Hypothetically speaking, are we allowed to see other people?
Sarah: Well, our cover is boyfriend/girlfriend…

Ellie: And now he is a big boy! And you can tell that he is because he’s with a big, big girl!

Ellie: Chuck, you need a haircut. It’s starting to make funny animal shapes.

Chuck: God, you’re so pretty.

Chuck: Wait, not yet.
Sarah: Why, what’s the matter?
Chuck: Nothing, it’s just that… this… this’ll probably be the last chance I have to know the truth. I know you’re just doing your job here, but sometimes it feels so real you know? So tell me... you and me, us, our thing under the undercover thing… is this ever going anywhere?
Sarah: …I’m sorry, Chuck. No.
Chuck: Got it. Got it. Thank you for being honest… even though I guess you don’t really have a choice in the matter.

Chuck: Today I wanna start crossing things off my list and this is the first thing I promised myself I’d do. We need to break up.

Chuck: I just can’t do this anymore. You know, the longer we go, the longer we keep trying to fool people into believing that we’re a real couple… the person I keep fooling the most is me.

Chuck: I meant to ask you; when you were affected did you say anything to compromise yourself?
Sarah: No, but if I hadn’t been trained to withstand Pentothal I might have.

1.09 - Chuck vs The Imported Hard Salami

Chuck: Uh, I would love to but I have plans tonight.
Morgan: What are you and m’lady doing?
Chuck: Uhh, actually… the lady and I are no mas. It’s over.
Morgan: I knew this would happen. Dude, I’m sorry. Damnit! Women can be so cruel.
Chuck: Oh as a matter of fact, I’m the one who did the breaking up. She just wasn’t the right girl for me.
Morgan: Right girl? Are you outta your mind?! Dude she is the hottest piece we are ever gonna get!
Chuck: Listen, I didn’t really see a future for Sarah and I ultimately so I didn’t wanna waste any more time.

(Sarah walks into the Buy More)
Morgan: Beg for her back, Charles.

Sarah: Look Chuck, I’ve been thinking about our break-up and I’m not so sure it’s the best idea.
Chuck: Miss me already, huh?
Sarah: Well just, you know, for the cover.

Sarah: Look, I’m sorry if you thought there was something… its very common in these situations to perceive a connection that isn’t there.
Chuck: Of course, I get it. It’s the old story, you know, guy gets supercomputer in his brain and a beautiful CIA agent is sent to protect him and she tells him while under the spell of truth serum that she’s not interested, I get it. But for me, the emotional rollercoaster is a little much. So I think I’d rather find something a little less ‘common’ like say, I don’t know, a real relationship.

General Beckman: What the hell happened?
Casey: She got dumped.
Sarah: We decided that it would be best for Chuck to date a civilian. It will help secure his cover in the event that someone ID’s me.
Casey: Yeah, ‘cause she got dumped.

General Beckman: Let me get this straight. Some woman comes in off the street and starts dating this asset and this doesn’t strike either of you as suspicious?
Sarah: It’s not completely unfeasible; he is a reasonably charming guy.

Sarah: You know he’s a great guy.
Lou: Yeah I’ve had the same opinion so far too.
Sarah: It’s not an opinion, it’s a fact. Don’t hurt him.
Lou: Okay, wasn’t planning on it. Thanks for the heads up though.

Casey: You fall for the guys you work with; first Bryce now our boy Chuck.
Sarah: Bryce was a mistake and I haven’t fallen for Chuck.
Casey: Yeah, whatever you say.

Lou: Isn’t that your ex-girlfriend?
Chuck: Yes it is. Sorry, uhh, she’s having a hard time letting go. It’s happened to me before a lot actually. I better go talk to her. Be right back, sorry.

Chuck: Hey, what are you doing here?!
Sarah: I wanted to make sure you’re okay.
Chuck: I’m... I’m on a date, okay?! Just… you’re ruining it right now!

Sarah: I wanted to apologize for last night. I suppose I jumped the gun a little and I didn’t mean to interfere with your date.
Chuck: Yeah, not sure if it qualifies as a date when you’re bugged with CIA microphones and infiltrated an arms importer but hey, I’m new at this.

Sarah: Well it’s hard to have a real relationship in this line of work.
Chuck: Apparently it’s hard to have a fake one as well.
Sarah: Well if it’s any consolation, I never felt like our time together was work.

Chuck: Why did you come in? I had the entire situation under control.
Sarah: Yeah, I could see that.

Chuck: So I assume you have a plan to get us out of this mess.
Sarah: Right now Casey’s tracking your GPS device in your watch. A SWAT team will be here any minute.
Chuck: Yeah, about the watch…

Chuck: Lou was incriminating herself and I didn’t want her getting into trouble.
Sarah: Always the romantic, huh Chuck?
Chuck: Jealous?

Chuck: Well excuse me if I’m not Mr. Perfect Spy. We can’t all be Bryce Larkin, now can we?
Sarah: Who’s jealous now?
Chuck: Me? Jealous of you and Bryce? Never.
Sarah: Is that everything you wanna say?
Chuck: More or less.
Sarah: Good. Now shut up you’re sucking up all the air.

Sarah: Okay Chuck, that’s enough. Run, I’m gonna stay and try to diffuse this.
Chuck: No, I’m not leaving you here.
Sarah: Go! That is an order!
Chuck: No.

Sarah: I said go.
Chuck: Oh, I see. So you’re gonna shoot me to prevent me from being blown up? That’s a great plan.
Sarah: Why are you so stubborn?
Chuck: Actually I’d consider this a rare moment of courage. I don’t know where its coming from, I guess you just bring out the worst in me.
Sarah: And you in me.

Chuck: Well, it was nice knowing you.
(with 3 seconds left on the ‘bomb’ Sarah decides to kiss Chuck)

(after the kiss)
Sarah: Well the good news is we’re alive… and the bad news is this is kind of an uncomfortable moment right now.
Chuck: This is completely comfortable on my end. …just sayin’.

Sarah’s voice mail: This is Sarah, leave a message.
Chuck: Hi, it’s Chuck. Of course it’s me… it’s me, it’s Chuck. Look I was just wondering if you wanted to go out on a date tonight and by date I mean no GPS and no mics and no chaperones; it would just be us.


1.10 - Chuck vs The Nemesis

coming soon...